Hello Dear Loving Diary,
I’m counting my blessings and shouting how grateful I am to God for them – all of them. I’m told to do this if I want more blessings and because I believe, I’m in the doing. And then I’m told by my sometimes very doubtful cousin that everything and person that happens to you was suppose to.
Sometimes I lose mental sight of the overall concept of this law or statement. To the point, is this: I don’t seem to grasp the whole idea of that singular statement. Or maybe I just don’t fully agree. Everything that happens to you was supposed to? Along with ALL??! the (THOSE) people that were included in the happening? Huh! Something. My cousin argues this one, time and again with me but there’s no way she’s winning. Or maybe I should pretend to let her win but never let go of what I’m almost entirely convinced of. How could I?! I don’t believe that a thing and/or person was initially intended to be a part of your destiny simply because it/they happened to you. But she does. Some things happen out of your own carelessness. Some people walk into your life as a result of your inability to be firm – and then they take a seat, because of course you allowed them. There are, of course, certain people I wish never happened to me. Sometimes I wish I was as strong-willed then as I think I am today (Please don’t mistake my willpower for pride. I try to listen and don’t always think I have to win the argument – even though sometimes I’m considered obnoxious, by haters, of course).
Like that supposed friend of mine (we’re no longer friends). I mean, I’m not malicious. I think. It’s just we happened not to be friends anymore (And thank God!). Some people just eventually grow to be that way. She was supposed to be the exact example of a friend indeed. And she WAS. Or so I thought. Couldn’t hurt a fly. Nor anyone else for that matter. Till I found out her destructive abilities every time someone else apart from herself was succeeding. The way she talked about her relative attaining greater heights than her (she never did attain any meaningful ones). And with so much contempt in that evil-laced tone of hers! And the horrible ‘what ifs’ she ‘accidentally’ wished happened to him. Wow! That was definitely not someone that was SUPPOSED TO share any part of my existence! I allowed her but then I could have disallowed her in the very first place, if I read between the lines. But it happened. Eventually. Oh? Stay and try to help her out of her misery? No ways, baby. Would you have? I couldn’t. There are people you don’t try to fix. Better still, fix or pray for them from a distance because the minute you come closer, your life begins to sink or go up in flames, depending on the type of wolf in sheep’s clothings you have as a friend. Now, how’s that? Don’t blame me, Dear Diary; it’s called uncluttering .By me. Yes! I’m uncluttering my life. Throwing out all the junk and keeping the goodies. I’m making a decision. Because in any event, I will enjoy or suffer the consequence of all the actions – maybe just almost all – that I’ll be making. This automatically means if I allow certain people in my life, I allow certain happenings that I should have avoided. This is not to say there are not some things that we humans and you, Diary have absolutely no control of. No. That’s why we are humans and not God.
And I will on purpose forget to mention (as if!) the colleague of mine I took in to live with me that turned every single day into a nightmare for me. I, of course put an end to those nightmares. Now I wave to her from across the street with clenched teeth, our relationship is has now assumed an increased frequency of vibrancy with my house, back to its peaceful state.
Yes! I believe everything and person that have happened to me have so been for a reason and my learning, I still disagree that they all were supposed to happen, putting in remembrance all of those deliberate decisions I made that I now consider stupid. But I am, however, counting all my blessing too numerous to mention and grateful for everyone person I have come in contact with, that has been a blessing to me – and in disguise!