Amy Childs, Katie Price, Fearne Cottons. If those names don’t ring a bell, don’t worry. You didn’t skip a page while perusing the latest supermarket tabloids. These are the names that rule pop culture on the other side of the pond.

That’s right. Don’t be fooled by their fancy accents and vast vocabularies: the British are actually at least as celebrity-mad as their American cousins. In the U.K., as in Hollywood, the paparazzi run rampant and tabloids document every move of the public’s favorite actors, singers and reality-TV stars.

But what exactly does the celebrity scene look like in a land without Kardashians?

Take a lookie!

Courtney Stodden and Amy Childs

Courtney Stodden and Amy Childs

Courtney Stodden, meet Amy Childs:
“Teen bride” Courtney Stodden made a name for herself by marrying 51-year-old “Green Mile” actor Doug Hutchison when she was only 16. Stodden isn’t known for any real talent, but neither is English model and reality star Amy Childs, who boasts a similar sort of fame. Childs stars on the reality show “The Only Way Is Essex” and was born to nail a sexy pose for drooling camera men.

Kim Kardashian and Katie Price

Kim Kardashian and Katie Price

Kim Kardashian, meet Katie Price:
Curvaceous, raven-haired beauties? Check, check, check. Kim Kardashian can count British brand machine and former glamour (that’s British for “frequently topless”) model Katie Price as her across-the-pond counterpart. Like Kim, Price is a reality-TV staple, a sometime singer (let’s not forget Kim’s foray into the music world with “Jam (Turn It Up)”) and, above all, a stellar businesswoman.

Fearne Cotton and Giuliana Rancic

Fearne Cotton and Giuliana Rancic

Giuliana Rancic, meet Fearne Cotton:
Who leaves us just as starstruck as the celebrities she gives us access to? Giuliana Rancic. For a British counterpart, look no further than blonde bombshell Fearne Cotton. Cotton serves as a radio DJ and TV “presenter,” and often earns top billing in glossies such as Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar.

 

Jessie J and Lady Gaga

Jessie J and Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga, meet Jessie J

Jessie and Gaga are both incredible, eccentric performers who enjoy wearing weird clothes and flashing lots of flesh! They’re both in-demand songwriters too: Jessie has written for Miley Cyrus while Lady Gaga has penned hits for Britney and Pussycat Dolls. Gaga’s got a bit of headstart though – Jessie’s still a relative newcomer to the celebrity world, whereas Lady G’s been uber-famous for years!

Steve Jones and Ryan Seacrest

Steve Jones and Ryan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest, meet Steve Jones

Steve is used to fighting for mirror space with Rick Edwards and Nick Grimshaw on T4 but as the new host of X Factor USA, his new nemesis is on another level altogether! Ryan Seacrest is not just the host of American Idol and E! News, he also produces Kim Kardashian’s reality series, making him quite the grand fromage in the American telly business. And like Steve, Ryan is quite the ladies man, but is Hollywood big enough for TWO lady-thrilling reality singing contest TV show hosts? Only time will tell. Awful

Sharon Osbourne and Joan Rivers

Sharon Osbourne and Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers, meet Sharon Osbourne

You either love them or you hate them. They both have a habit of saying outrageous and offensive things, they’re both fearsome matriarchs and they’ve both have had lots of plastic surgery! Joan Rivers’ main job is host on Fashion Police (with Giulana) as well as regular segments on the beautifully titled shows: Bitch Stole My Look and Guess Me From Behind. Sharon is a co-host on The Talk, a US version of Loose Women.

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