It’s a growing phenomena in our generation. It starts with a loaded glance, and ends with a coy (or cocky) smile that accompanies a “Could I have your pin.” These actions serve to spawn a new kind of breed in these times, a fickle, impulsive breed, that forgo emotional depth, for a superficial rush that will dissipate as quickly as it appears.
These people are what I like to call the loose lovers. Loose lovers, are, somebody who is pretty liberal with their affections, and fickle with their attentions, who rides high on the wave of attraction on the first instance, smooth words, and physical infatuation.
These people are not intentionally “bad”, nor are they willingly lying to themselves or others..they genuinely believe that this relationship is the real McCoy.
The criteria seems to have been fulfilled; constantly thinking about the object of your affections, your stomach doing somersaults like it’s the newest member of the Cirque du Soleil..of course it must be love..right?
Whilst I cannot claim to be an expert by any stretch of the imagination, even I can see that though these things can serve as a basis for love…they’re only preliminary factors that’s needed for the substance of love.It’s infatuation. This is often proved when three months (or weeks) later, after the object of your affections has displayed their less finer qualities- or you’ve simply become bored-and you meet the next silver tongued person that makes your heart beat fast and your stomach do cartwheels. Again in the heated rush and excitement, the word “love” comes into play again, being bantered about before you even know each other, before you’re really even (and I think this really is a fundamental component) friends with one another.
Call me a naive romantic (because I can be) but isn’t love so major, so inherently deep that the end of it calls for substantial recovery time?Love by it’s very definition calls for giving a part of you, so when you break up with a person who has a part of you, won’t it hurt a little bit? Ergo wouldn’t it take longer than a week to get over such a relationship and snag a new person who’s whispers Bruno Mars inspired sweet nothings into your ear?
Bruno Mars whispering sweet nothings into his lady love’s ear.
At this point, it may be wise to reiterate that though I have read more than 200 romance novels and watched countless gushy movies that are so cheesy they would make Justin Bieber claim he was lactose intolerant… I am not an expert. However, as a female who has helped extricate many a friend from the rubble of an imploded relationship, equipped with Ben and Jerry’s and man bashing epigrams, I have picked up a thing or two about using the word “love” too soon.
With extensive research I have discovered that if you give it up easy- the word love- without ever checking or assessing whether it actually is the real deal, you can catch quite a lot of nasty side-effects such as;
-A searing hurt that shoots through one’s entire body. This may cause a dependency on excessive amounts of carbs, which may result in an expansion of the behind, which in turn may lead to depression once you realise you cannot fit into your favourite Freakum Dress anymore. As oxymornic as it sounds, it is a cyclic path to self destruction.
-A loss of trust, that can lead you to being one of those crazy girlfriends that stalk ex-girlfriends on facebook, that physically stalk him, and who generally mess up their next relationship with somebody who is actually worthy, because a deluded sense of smell has led them to detect the tacky scent of “Other girl” on his jacket.
-Disillusionment with the gender that let you down. This is pretty tragic, because this could lead to you missing out on the one guy who will see a Jennifer Lopez film with you because he loves you that much. Jennifer Lopez is an example of someone who may slip out the word “Love” too easily, but perhaps this is a topic for another post.
The last on my list is not one of more important side-effects, but is a significant one-The toe curling embarrassment of having the entire cyber world seeing “X is longer listed in a relationship with Y” on Facebook.Many “?” and “What?” and “BBM NOW!” may ensue, and you will have the torment of having to rehash the breakup many times ad nauseum. It will be quite inconvenient.
This is by no means a finite list and it should also be added that side effects may vary, dependant on the person’s emotional sensitivity and strength.
In an age where everything is instant-from noodles to messages, and even cleavage(we give thanks to Wonderbras), I’ve found that a lot of people have come to expect “Instant love”. Although it must be established, this is not me rashly saying that that love can’t happen quickly-it can- but why not give a relationship time to breathe and develop before confirming that it is love? Give the relationship time to grow.
Also before you do confirm it is love…make sure your partner feels the same way so as to avoid this awkward scenario at 1 minuite 50 seconds..
Regardless of all of this, we at FAB genuinely love all of you!