You may already be wondering what it is with FAB online today. We had the story of Kim K and Kanye (read it here), which seems like a perfect example for an interracial relationship debate. On-Air-Personality, Toke Makinwa just released a Vlog discussing about the several issues that surround interracial relationships.
Now this type of relationship is viewed as a controversial one, perhaps for the most visible thing which it shows, colour. Some are of the school of thought that you should stick to your own race and dating outside of your race is trying to ruin God’s creation. Excuse me? But some like myself are open minded towards it, and see no problem with it. Love knows no colour, just as much as it has no awareness of age, wealth, religious and cultural beliefs or sexuality.
Let’s briefly weigh out the arguments from both sides
Emotional Connection: ‘Our joy in our relationships, ANY relationship, must come from the surprise and delight of finding someone we have a spiritual, mental and emotional connection to. Look for compatibility and a good fit. Choosing someone to love and someone to care about you should be your first priority, not race.’ says relationship and dating expert, Deborrah Cooper, who could not have said it any better than I wanted to. Emotional connection is what starts and keeps a relationship growing and getting stronger in all the different aspects of dating.
Cultural Assimilation: You both accept each other’s culture. A very good friend of mine from Palestine became involved with a guy from the Caribbean. She educated him on her culture and he informed her about the traditions of his tiny home country of Monsterrat. None of them happen to force it on each other, but they help themselves to understand each other’s heritage more and accept it as part of what they have to familiarise themselves with in the cause of the relationship. That way I think, they are blinded to the whole idea of ‘He’s black, She’s Olive’.
Experiment: This is as a result of the want to assimilate into other cultures, and experience what it is like. Some may find that dating outside their race provides more comfort and some sort of difference to dating someone of the same colour. Moreover it is usually a good thing to do, as it also fuels one’s experience and maturity in the dating scene.
Negative Vibe (Naysayers): It is not news that racism is still present in this 21st century. Interracial romance usually gets frowned upon by narrow minded individuals who still think it is wrong for the races to mix or due to the idea that neither party can comprehend one another’s culture. Not many people are thick skinned, and often let these bigoted individuals ruin something that may otherwise be a perfect or amazing thing.
Self Hate: Otherwise known as the ‘Coconut syndrome’. Some black ladies who date outside of the race as a result of self hate. They want to have mixed children with soft long hair and almond complexions. Getting into a relationship because of that is actually shallow and does not help it at all. Love comes from self love, as you may have heard more than a thousand times. Also you end up birthing children who will be tagged by society as ‘born confused’ because their parents especially their mothers have not taught them about the importance of self love, which they themselves do not possess.
Revenge: Some decide to date outside of their race as a form of spite towards their families or an ex that once dated outside of the race too. The result this usually gives is a flat empty relationship, which isn’t in anyway natural and filled with all the norms expected of a happy union. There was an old school mate of mine who rebelled against her conservative and extremely racist father to elope with a Congolese guy. They got married, had a child and eventually went their separate ways out of pressure from her family, who still did not accept her ex and their child. Which brings about the question- ‘What is the point?!’
To round up, interracial relationships will always be that topic of hush hush, just like the talk of homosexuality within our African society. However it seems to be more acceptable amongst people who have had a certain level of exposure and are willing to put it into practise by dating outside of their race. But you may dispute that and say it all boils down to love which blinds the issue of race or even ‘oju kokoro’ (greed), which is usually the bashing Nigerians or Africans in general give to someone dating outside of their race. They go on to justify this argument by saying, those dating outside of their race want to be seen as having higher status in society with their ‘oyinbo’ partner, and to also have mixed children.
Back to Miss TokStarr and her chatty little Vlog, not sure where she leans in this argument. But in her video, she weighs it from both sides too. Like me, she may be open minded, which seems to be the sensible thing to do. Watch her video below and drop your opinions in the comments section about interracial relationships.
Images: Google and Tumblrby