People like us that don’t get to have weekends suffer more on Mondays. All these white-collar people will enter the bus and be having mood swing like as if I am the one that said that their weekend should be short and they should hate their jobs. That’s why me I don’t like Monday – because people will enter the bus now and be doing like they are the only ones that matter and just be doing me anyhow.
I am tired of people treating bus conductors anyhow. We are humans too abeg. Ahahn. That’s how the other day one LASTMA man wanted to beat me because of something that a police man did. Let me even tell you what happened.
That’s how one policeman entered our bus on Thursday o. He said we should drop him at Bonnycamp. No wahala nao. We normally don’t even collect money from policemen. That is our own duty to the nation. Anyway na my Oga dey drive, and while trying to boycott traffic he passed one wrong place sha, as if he is the first person to pass that way. That’s how one LASTMA official just appeared from nowhere and told us to park. My Oga did small agidi and that is how the LASTMA started to vex. Then the policeman started to make mouth and brag and vex the LASTMA more. If not that our passengers had started complaining I would have just been laughing away but I went to the front to try to settle and the LASTMA just started to be shouting like agbero. That is how me too I just vexed my own and we almost changed it to another thing. Anyway last last the man allowed us to go after small money exchanged hands. This Nigeria is in trouble o.
That’s why when I went for one event on Saturday I was just boiling inside. Which event abi? It was an exhibition. I don’t know what carried me there except that I heard that it was free. It was “El Anatsui: Playing With Chance” that held in Yaba at the Centre for Contemporary Art or something. I got there around 3pm for a lecture by one Ghanaian artist. I went there only so I can start to try to polish myself and be more sophisticated but the thing was drrrryyy. Everybody there was just doing like as if they don’t shit. This is not how life is o. I did not understand what was going on and after going to pick plate of finger foods like 3 times even the servers were looking at me funny. Is it my fault that the food was so small and tiny? Even the art I did not understand.
After I left that place I just told myself that is not the kind of fame that I am looking for. I want the one where I will walk into a place and everybody will be hailing me. I want the fame that people will be falling over themselves to help me even when I don’t need the help.
The world needs to stop looking down on bus conductors. One day I am holding the railing of the door of our yellow bus and tomorrow my face will be on billboard. You never know. With every Monday that comes and every frustrated banker that enters my bus, it is just a reminder that as much as I am tired of this ghetto life other people are tired of their own 9-to-5 life too – and life can change for anybody at any time.
Until then, you can find me holding on to my yellow bus for life.
29-year-old Boye Fafunwa has always been called Fabo by his friends and in school. He has no idea how the name originated and almost always introduces himself simply as “Fabo”.
Having grown up in the rural areas of Ogun State, deciding to go to Lagos – a land of greener pastures, has been a roller-coaster experience for him. When Fabo was thrown into Lagos Life as an upcoming and thirst-driven artist, he vowed to be seen at all the events and with all the top names in the music industry. Even though he is a graduate who studied Industrial Art at The Federal Polytechnic Ilaro in Ogun State, he has been pushed to a life of hardship by a recent loss of all he holds dear.
Fabo lives in a self-contain apartment in Adeniji Adele surviving on money gotten from his day job of being a bus conductor. At night Fabo transforms into a typical young man in Lagos who is just looking to survive and become famous.
These are his chronicles, brought to you every Monday through FAB Magazine Online.