Another Monday and it’s another week of hustle. The hustle never stops in Lagos because we must make this money. This morning when I woke up and didn’t want to get up from bed, cursing the always dreaded Monday and its inevitable arrival, I had to take a moment to be thankful. I could hear Iya Rasheed and her son at it again at 4:30am. Which kain life be this?
Lagos never sleeps.
That’s why when one of my passengers forgot her wallet on the floor of our bus last week Thursday, me sef I knew that my God too never sleeps. My destiny too cannot sleep. Was it not just last week that I was telling you of my intentions to be a star? Me finding that wallet and finding two regular tickets to Africa Magic Viewer’s Choice Awards on Saturday was destiny and not stealing. That wallet fell right on my lap abeg so I sold one ticket and used it to buy fine cloth but pocketed the other one because it is one of my routes to greatness. Everybody has been making noise about that award so I knew I would have opportunity to dilly-dally with the stars.
I went extra early o. Denrele and his shoes arrived early too but as I was trying to famz him he too was trying to famz other people so that one no work. Besides, if I gum with him too much people can be thinking one thing and that’s not what I want. See how Ik greeted us nao, he said “Good evening Ladies, Gentlemen and Denrele Edun” or something like that sha and that’s not what I want. Anyway, Eku Edewor no even give me face as she stand on red carpet. But Uti, nice guy! Uti, that Big Brother Guy, he answered a few of my questions seeing as I wasn’t dressed too bad myself. Mainly I wanted to know where the after party was seeing as that is where I heard all the celebrities let loose. He gave me the details but I wasn’t allowed in. Oluwa will make a way for me another time.
I was watching the AMVCA yesterday on Africa Magic in my oga’s house. Rubbish camera did not even show my face. I dey tell my Oga say I dey there he no believe. I saw Davido live! Flavour, Waje and that fine Osas girl and her low-cut dress. But do you know what bust my head? That Ghanaian actress Joselyn Dumas and that her tiny waist and big yansh or, like Timaya will say, UKWU! She went up to present an award and I was just stretching my neck from my seat. If you were not at the event like the rest of us big men, you missed.
Anyway, back to this wretched Monday morning and a crash into reality that I remain a bus conductor Monday through Friday. See now, Mama Bola and Iya Rasheed have started fighting. I can hear them and this is only a preview of what the rest of my week will be like. I will reach the park now and it’s just fights, ganja, piss smell and stupid small small girls hawking and looking for who to open leg for on the side. This CMS life is no longer for me and I cannot wait for weekend to come let me show the world that I am really destined to be rich & famous.
Not everybody understands the need to survive but I do. Fake it till you make it is my mantra. This is Lagos where nobody sleeps and anything can happen; one day Fabo will happen but till then let me face my job. And slip the next conductor you meet small change, it could be me.
29-year-old Boye Fafunwa has always been called Fabo by his friends and in school. He has no idea how the name originated and almost always introduces himself simply as “Fabo”.
Having grown up in the rural areas of Ogun State, deciding to go to Lagos – a land of greener pastures, has been a roller-coaster experience for him. When Fabo was thrown into Lagos Life as an upcoming and thirst-driven artist, he vowed to be seen at all the events and with all the top names in the music industry. Even though he is a graduate who studied Industrial Art at The Federal Polytechnic Ilaro in Ogun State, he has been pushed to a life of hardship by a recent loss of all he holds dear.
Fabo lives in a self-contain apartment in Adeniji Adele surviving on money gotten from his day job of being a bus conductor. At night Fabo transforms into a typical young man in Lagos who is just looking to survive and become famous.
These are his chronicles, brought to you every Monday through FAB Magazine Online.by