In the September issue of Essence magazine, writer Marshall Lewis said that men, even committed married have difficulty drawing the line between “harmless flirting and adultery”.

One thing that I thought was interesting is as much as flirting can be fun; can it ever really be harmless? Marshall Lewis, a self-proclaimed “flirtatious man”, had to limit his social circle once he got married because of his tendency to befriend women. Marshall Lewis voluntarily adjusted his behaviour and wishes that he had the opportunity to discuss this but according to him men do not talk about such things.


I once listened to a sermon from an American pastor and he said, “So many marriages end up in divorce because both parties still act as if they’re single.” Does this relate to flirting as well? Flirting is something that you’re freely able to do when you’re single but when you’re in a relationship is it still ok? Lewis obviously doesn’t think so, he went to the extreme of completely limiting his social circle. You always hear of many affairs starting with “harmless flirting”, which brings me back to my point of whether flirting ever really is harmless.

So what do you think? Would you prefer your partner to limit their social circle or are you fine with a bit of flirting? Are men just really clueless like Marshall suggests? Share your thoughts!

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2 Responses

  1. McChinonye

    In my opinion i think there is no such thing as harmless flirting. Flirting is flirting! If it will end at just winking of the eyes then you may call it harmless, but if it involves kissing and sex, then it is HARMFUL! In which case it is simply wrong. Where is the moral in it? When we give names that somewhat sound appealing to the ears for some illicit acts we make them look good and no big deal but the truth is they are as bad as what is written in the bible.

  2. Chantal

    This is a tricky one!

    I am a naturally flirtatious person, but only to the extent of the way that I speak. nothing more than talking when I am in a relationship. Sometimes being socially confident can be seen as flirting which I get told a lot of the time. I just think that for some people flirting comes naturally however, we all have the ability to control the way that we behave in terms of adultery.

    As I have said, I am a flirtatious person so I can’t really expect my partner to limit their social circle as I would have trust in them. Flirting is only harmless when it does not involve anything physical, anything more than harmless conversation is a problem.


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