On Thursday 16th April, TIME magazine released their annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world, and it’s full of the sort of people you’d expect to see on such a list—Kim Kardashian, Angela Merkel, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, etc. But the fun lies in seeing which other famous people they got to write about the first set of famous people, because some truly excellent and bizarre choices were made on that front. First, there’s Martha Stewart, who wrote about fellow media mogul Kim Kardashian. “Kim Kardashian is a media phenomenon,” she wrote. “Why? Why? Why? we might ask ourselves.” Excellent question, Martha.
“Beautiful in an exotic, totally exaggerated way, Kim exudes energy, sexuality, drama, determination, impetuousness and happiness,” Martha offers as an explanation, adding that the Kardashians “work hard, and they stick together through thick and thin.” It’s true, they do! Well, except for Rob and that time he said Kim was Amy from Gone Girl. But that was an isolated incident.
Kim’s husband Kanye West (who landed one of the five covers, too) makes an appearance on the list with an accompanying blurb by Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk. “Every time I say something that’s extremely truthful out loud, it literally breaks the Internet,” Kanye humbly claims in a short video. “So what are we getting all of the rest of the time?” Pictures of Kim in latex dresses, mostly.
In the not-Kardashian portion of the list, there’s Ina Garten by Taylor Swift, and Taylor Swift by Mariska Hargitay. As you no doubt know, Taylor named her cat Olivia Benson after Mariska’s character on Law & Order: SVU, which Mariska definitely sees as a plus. “Along with her staggering list of accomplishments, perhaps the most exciting thing about Taylor is that she’s just getting started with what she plans to mine from her fierce, curious, boundlessly talented and beautiful heart,” Mariska wrote. “Also, it doesn’t hurt that she named her cat after me.”