I’m sure very soon some of us will soon be wondering why I like to review articles. I have asked myself too. The truth is as much as I am an avid fashion writer, I am also a wide reader like most of you too. And when it relates to me, I can’t help the questions and answers that run through my mind. I saw this article on the FAB Blog and of course I am S***** and deep-down-in-me searching even though my mind loves to tell me I am in a good relationship with my work. I felt guilty as charged like Aderonke was actually talking to me at some of the points. So I decided to review this article in the FAB Court using myself as a case study.You will find my thoughts in brackets and Italics.
SO HERE ARE FIVE REASONS WHY ME AND YOU ARE STILL SINGLE as seen by Aderonke Adebanjo. True or False? I promise to review my truth and nothing but the truth so help me FAB readers.
I had to write this because I get very interesting questions from time to time. There must be reasons why women, who want to be in a relationship, are still single, right?
***Guys, I’m not sure this applies to you because it seems whenever you’re ready, you can just up and get a relationship. Although, it does appear that even the guys are having a hard time these days. Is that true?***
Here are some reasons why I think women are still single these days (in no particular order):
1. You’re not approachable – Girl, you need to SMILE. Period(I agree. I don’t smile. I don’t want to be approached by every random guy because I’m smiling and you are thinking you can read me saying ‘I want to be with you tonight’. PERIOD!!!) . Guys need some green light action(what green light? If you think I’m worth it. Green light or not, gather your confidence and say hello) so when they glance over and you don’t smile back, they take it as a “don’t even think about it” signal (This is what my male friends tell me) (Yes, don’t think about it cos you are not serious). Although, this is really dependent on why he’s glancing in the first place.
Another reason why you might be unapproachable could be because you are always surrounded by your girlfriends! Some women don’t know how to be alone. It’s almost impossible to hang out with yourself. Lol. If you’re always with people how can you be approached? Try going to the movies alone, jogging, taking a walk, and see what happens…(Like really? Aderonke you mean.. Oh no! You are going to be friends with my girlfriends anyways. So why not start now to introduce yourself if you are serious. Like I said, don’t think about it if you can stand my friends).
2. You haven’t figured out your life’s purpose(For real? I haven’t?) – Yup! I always say “before you ask someone to go on a journey with you, you have to know where you’re going”. In this case, the journey is a relationship or marriage. You kinda have to know where it is you want to go in life before you take someone along. We are growing everyday so you won’t have it all figured out before you pursue a relationship but at least you’ll know in which direction you’re headed and that will make it easier to decide who to go with on the journey.(Yes I know my life’s purpose. I also know who and what I want in a husband. I just haven’t seen any husband material. I am saying I have found one person who was and thought the same for me but his excuse was ‘He’s not ready’. They not always ready.)
3. You’re not meeting NEW people. Period. Most people’s routines are so rigid and their social circles have stayed the same for years! They go to work, Church, home, and maybe one or two places and that’s it! No surprise you ain’t found someone all this time!(I go EVERYWHERE. All kind of events and places. I even go to my village to visit my grandma. I am an extrovert by nature. This reason is not enough for me). You know they say “madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”! LOL!!! I’m not saying you’re mad though, I’m just saying…LOL. Anyways, maybe it’s time to change things up a little bit. How? You ask. Well, by changing up where you go and going out with a variety of friends. Have a diverse pool of friends and hang out with different groups(Done and did that several times. I even have a Tee-shirt that says @I am always versatile). You’ll probably meet new people that way. Network. Follow up on business contacts. Tap into all your affiliations not just because you want a romantic relationship but also because you want richer friendships and a richer life.(Really? I thought you were telling me about why I am single in terms of romance?)
4. The guys around you are straight up not ready! Yup! Cos girl, you KNOW you got it going on. You’re beautiful, hard working, FRIENDLY, fun, etc(Sharon shrug). but the dudes around you are either SUPER blind, intimidated (in which case it’s ok), or they’re not your type. So, what do you do in this case? Hmmm, you could try the tips in #3 and see how that goes or honey, call on Jesus to order the right dude’s steps!(My daily prayers…lol)
5. You’re being unrealistic – Hmm, this is an interesting one. I believe everyone should have non-negotiables when it comes to relationships but I guess sometimes the expectations can be unrealistic. I always say that we put too much pressure on other human beings to be PERFECT. We really shouldn’t expect more from others than we are ourselves. So when you say you want a guy who is this and that, are you this and that? There has to be room for compromise because at the end of the day none of us is perfect. My Pastor said something the other day that was very profound. He said a lot of women are looking for oak trees (ready-made, already established men) when they should be looking for acorns (men with potential). I know a lot of women especially after a certain age don’t want to be with “potential” but when he said that, I realized that there will be some kind of potential in the guy that only a woman can bring out. Haven’t you noticed that when your male friends get married, shortly after they get that “marriage glow”. I notice it all the time! It’s the woman! She’s bringing out the best in him I guess there are different levels of potential but there WILL be potential in him that only you can bring out. There will probably be some things you will want him to have that he won’t have till you get married. So, ladies, don’t be afraid of potential anymore. Just get with the kind of potential you are comfortable with(I guess you are right here. So I’m thinking if i find that potential partner, how do I force him to stay when he doesn’t want to? Is this the part where you say ‘You need Jesus’ OR ‘Go ask your mama).
Phew! So, what do y’all think? What other reasons do you think explain why women and men are STILL single?(i think the reason why I am still single is because of a few of the following above, a little of the ‘cheating’ thoughts but more of ‘I am a workaholic and I am too independent)
*These are just from my observations and conversations
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