Once you leave the grounds of university, and go into the big wide world, the term relationship takes on new meaning it’s not really a worry about getting your coursework in but rather, what career path you’re going to take and what you are going to do with the rest of your life, and surely you’re not the only one thinking that, there are dozens of peers around feeling the same way.
The point I’m making is that when you meet someone or you’re already in a relationship, there’s always that elephant in the room, how can you both go for what you want in life, without losing sight of each other, it may not be an issue for everyone, but believe me it’s an issue many people face. As women we are usually raised in away, that we learn what it takes to be a good woman, that you’re supposed to cater to you’re man, but not trail behind him. Then why is it that so many men are intimidated by successful women, it’s almost as if to say ‘I’m ok with you being successful as long as I’m more successful’.
Now don’t get me wrong I know men are taught to be the providers and the bread winners, I’m all for that, but more often than none, the woman is the one made to feel like she has to support her man no matter what her own aspirations are, and it’s very seldom that you’ll meet a man who is ok with being your equal.
Take for instance the recent episode of the BET show ‘The Game’, now I know some of you may not watch it, but the issue at hand was that Melanie an aspiring doctor, had to make a choice between staying for her husband’s champion game or flying out to complete her residency. As a man he believed that he needed his wife there to support him, and if they won, to be there to hold him, but as a woman Melanie felt like she has put her aspirations to the side to support her husband so he could get to the position he’s in, and everything she loved had fell behind, but he has what he wants, so it was time for her to get what she wanted.
So the episode kind of went back and forth, and her husband just seeing it as her abandoning him, until we got to the last few minutes of the episode, and he actually apologises to her realizing that, both of their careers are important, not just one, if she can ride or die for him, then he should be willing to do the same for her. It isn’t really about being in the sidelines, but about being willing to take it in turns, one individual should not be more important than the other. Remembering that if you truly love someone that love never dies no matter where they are.
Beyoncé and Jay Z are a perfect example of what I’m saying, when she’s on tour he’ll support her from the crowd, and when he’s on tour she’ll fly out and also support him, and if they are both very busy, they will make sure they spend (even if small) some time together, just to show they got each other’s back, so it’s not impossible, you can both shine.
For those wondering what episode of ‘The Game’ it was, it’s the Season 5 finale.
I think men basically need to grow up and start supporting their women along their career paths…If you are truly one, and consider individual monies as joint revenue, you will have no issues.