The subject of cooking comes up a lot in my conversations with both guys and girls so let’s go there already! “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is a saying I’ve come to believe based on things I’ve heard and seen. There is something about a woman cooking for her man that seems so important and I think it’s really more about the act of nuturing and not just the cooking. Men want, and I think HAVE, to feel cared for. I believe it’s the way they’re wired and cooking is one major way a woman can show her man that she really cares about him. I have to be honest, years ago I didn’t get it but now I do!

Now, there are a lot of independent women (not a bad thing) who aren’t sure that cooking consistently i.e. every night for their man is practical or even possible! The thought of having to come home and cook for their man after a hard day’s work is a turn off for a lot women (I think. Ladies, am I right?). I can’t really explain it but perhaps it has to do with the fact that if the woman and her man both work demanding jobs in the city of Lagos (or any other similarly crazy blessed city), the thought of coming home late after sitting in traffic for about 2 or 3 hours and being expected to cook when she is just as tired as he is, is straight up not cool. In fact, some women think it’s wicked of the man to expect her to cook for him in that situation – like how can he be so heartless i.e. who is his slave?! LOL. So, what is the compromise in this kind of situation? Do they do take-out every night? Does their cook make her man’s food? Married folk, please share some ideas.

I remember a conversation I had with some guys (hard-working, eligible bachelor-type guys) who said they’d prefer their wife’s and not the cook’s food because there is something about their wife cooking for them that speaks volumes. It ain’t easy though in this fast-paced era to come home and cook for your man when you’re really tired but I guess if it comes down to how much you care about him and his well being, which is a reflection of how much you care about yourself and your well being then it might be easier to do. This is how I see it: If a person cares about him/herself enough to make sure they find a way to eat right everyday no matter how tired they are, it will translate to them doing the same for their spouse. After all the Bible says, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself” – not more or less than yourself (Lol). So if  a woman is already taking care of herself as a single woman (i.e. not doing take-out even when she is tired but finding a way to make sure she eats right) I think it would be easier (not necessaily always) to cook for herself and her man. No? It is easier said though!

The idea of a  man expecting his woman to cook for him is not as archaic as most women think. It looks like guys like it, want it, and perhaps NEED it to feel loved. They don’t always want the cook’s food (I keep referring to the cook because a lot of people have cooks in these parts) but they want YOUR food made by your hands with your love all up in it! So, ladies, if it makes them happy, I guess it’s the way to go, yeah? Obviously, he has to be considerate and understand that some days it’ll have to be pizza (or the cook’s food) but on those days he’ll know it’s an exception and not the rule. Now, I’m not saying all women don’t like cooking/don’t cook for their men. In fact, I’ve been around married friends who say things like “I have to go home and cook for my husband” and I think it’s so cute! Lol. I even know of one lady who serves her husband his food kneeling down! Yes, in the 21st Centurty :)

So, all the single ladies, say it out loud: I will cook for you baby! (LOL). Declare it. Repeat it. Confess it. Until it makes sense! Lol! The idea might take a little getting used to for the independent ladies but if that’s what is necessary, then hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! Remember, at the end of the day, it’s actually a reflection of how much you care about yourself.

Guys, is it true that your wife’s cooking is really a big deal? Do you really care if she cooks the food or if the cook makes it? Please share your thoughts.Ladies, do you think men need to be more considerate? Do you think it’s impossible to work a job and be expected to cook everyday?

All articles are written by Aderonke Adebanjo

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2 Responses

  1. akogun alli

    I want my wife to cook for me please…if she is really busy then at least once a week.

  2. Gay Zindere

    I am married and I love cooking and I love cooking for my husband- I can cook the whole day. BUT. Cooking is fun for me when I am in a very good spirit when I am low I just don’t feel motivated to do anything. And my husband holds the key to my spirit he is the only one that can either kill it or up-lift it. I just want to appeal to all the brothers and say women are so beautiful and will not have a “busy day” or a “headache” as an excuse to cook for you- if I tell you I am tired to cook for you- take it as a silly excuse- we can do anything for you- just give us the love and attention we need.
    Some guys have long forgotten of their women’s existence- he comes home from work and can’t even give a free hug and a kiss and not even a smile to his woman- next thing he throws a bunch of newspapers and his laptop on the couch strips off his clothes all the way to the bedroom leaving clothes on the floor and on the bed then he runs down the wardrobe trying to find something to change into- then he comes to the kitchen and picks up the water glass you have just cleaned and pours himself a juice, leaving drops of juice over the kitchen counter and on the floor, he goes and throws himself over the couch and gets taken away by Super Sport. And when supper comes he cleans up the plate up like a hungry lion- the only time he knows how to clean a plate so well- he seems to have forgotten the phase “thank you” and would not even show gratitude in any way- he only thinks it’s his “right” to have that beautiful meal. After the meal he switches on to National Geo till he starts dozing from the couch- by then the woman would have finished doing to dishes and cleaning the kitchen and picking up his clothes and getting the house in order- locking the doors and making sure the windows are closed for them to sleep. “Honey lets go and sleep you must be tired” she even tells him it’s time to sleep. He jumps into bed and looks at her and says, “baby am I not getting a lil somethin somethin before I go to sleep.”

    I don’t want to cook with a heavy heart- I will spit into your food!!! When my man sends three sweet texts in the morning; “honey you looking gorgeous today.” “my endless love” “can’t stop thinking about last night” then he calls me when I am at work and says, ” I just want to find out how you doing”- and he listens to me for the next 15 minutes complaining about my boss and work then he tells me how much he already misses me. I will not spend as sec in the office at close of business but run to the best super-market to get some fresh steak and vegetables and his favorite juice- then when he comes home the first thing he yells is “honey I am home”, then he dashes into the kitchen and holds me from behind and gives me a kiss on the neck. I will not only cook for him but give him somethin somethin in bed!!

    So brothers love us like you love Super Sport!! And women also have the right to your attention and remember to appreciate us. THEN Yes I will cook for you baby!!! And to all the single ladies please get the contract right a woman can only cook if she feels loved and appreciated in her own way- so don’t be the one over-promising.


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