Have you ever been on the friend ship? It usually resides at a dock outside primary school, or at your first day at work or on a spontaneous night out, waiting for its passengers to come aboard before it sets sail for a mixture of calm and stormy waters.
You’re first night on the ship you meet someone who stands out to you for a number of reasons usually depending on the situation. They may be incredibly charming, endearing and sweet or you may be in awe of them. Once you have the initial introductions and become acquainted with each other, you have the trial period. You assess their behaviour while they gloss over yours. Does this person annoy me, do we have things in common, and do I actually want to be their friend? If the answer is no then you go your separate ways, one gets off the boat while the other stays on looking for other applicants.
If yes then the friend ship really gets going. You get off to a really good start, sharing good times and experiences, always having each other’s back. Soon after you become used to their behaviours; even subconsciously adopting their mannerisms and speech. Before long you’re comfortable enough to start teasing them about their weird habits which can at times translate into stupid arguments depending on clash of personalities.
It’s around this time the journey may get bumpy, with the ship hitting a few rocks causing feelings of resentment and anger. Though your particular friend ship may have been built upon the foundations of common values and mutual respect, fractures can start to show and leaks in the ship can start to appear for a number of reasons.
From a state of comfortableness arises the action of taking the ones you love for granted, assuming they will always be there and as such the effort you put into the beginning of the friend ship may have diminished slightly. In some cases, extraneous factors get in the way, such as distance, lack of time and even partners that arrive on the scene. Some people deal with this part of the journey much better than others; with all the protective gear in tow they let the commotion slide off their back, riding out the torrid waves and waiting for a brighter day. While others will throw the towel in and submit to the sad but expected rule in life that says you cannot be friends with everyone.
You may find yourself a little bit scarred from this, but you’ll never be completely free from the drama. But just remember whether your friend ship stops before you had anticipated it to, or the journey continues for another 50 years, if it was meant to be, it will be. The ones that you do make a successful journey with you are the ones worth keeping and the ones you should feel blessed to have.
But if you haven’t got the time or patience to embark on The Friend Ship, try your hand at the fail safe but very funny Friendship Algorithm…