The world is your runway and you should feel good about whatever fashion choices you make whether classy or drab – for reasons best known to you – but there really is no need to be clad in dead ensemble or lose that job because you’re trying to create your own impressions. There are a few ‘stylish’  garbs you shouldn’t be caught in and a few other clothing combinations you shouldn’t make cause mistakes like that haunt you the rest of your possibly never fashionable life ever.

Spare yourself the heartache and follow these simple advices.

Tights as trousers

You come across as a desperate sex seeker if you do this. The whole point is ridiculously useless. The thing is there isn’t even a point in the outfit. Tights aren’t made to be worn as trousers – at least not for normal people. They are supposed to be a dependable wear. Whatever you intend to pair over it should touch below your bum area, if it’s not, you really are desperate for a one night stand. And have you seen how they look on the front? It’s not sex appeal. It will inspire puking reactions from reasonable gents, trust me.

Rollers or curlers in your hair – outdoors

I know you want to show off your newly purchased type. Don’t worry about it, everyone else owns their – and a better brand. I plead with you, don’t wear this outside of the comfort of your non-criticizing home. Let alone to the office or airport!! To the shopping mall is still a bit excusable – even at that, you’ll get a few giggles from on-lookers – but to an event, a programme, gathering. Wow, what are you thinking?! Are you the next Gaga?! Not even for the sake of it’s lovely colors and stylish looks should you dare.

Thongs as office foot wears

These are about the latest trendy foot wears introduced and they are the coolest – or so some of us think. They also put you on a pedestal that places you on the new hot, chic status if you can combine your whole outfit well but for the love of God, they are no seminar or official fashion number. They are playful, pizzazz statement pieces and shouldn’t be mistaken otherwise.

Floor length straight skirts as chic

Please take note that I’m placing emphasis on ‘straight’. Floor length skirts are elegant and graceful when they are a little flared but throwing your lovely self into a pitiful sack of clothing only makes you appear and act confused. Notice that you’ll stumbling half the time you’ll walk. Unless they are for a special, really, extremely excusable purpose, throw out all those pitiful ensembles, please. Or if you feel guilty to exchange them with some really girl-worthy (what’s your name again?) clothing, hang them up in the basement. If you don’t have one, get rid of them already! Somehow.

If the one reason you’re still keeping them is because your boyfriend admires them and won’t have it that you want to part with them then I have to admit he has the sickest sense of fashion and style (I can’t wait to see what his wardrobe and combinations look like) and trust me, I say that with every sense of love and concern for you both and your possible happy shopping lives together. Besides, who made him your fashion critic? He’s boyfriend, not fashion stylist.

Open cleavage to see in-laws

Seriously? To see mom and dad-in law? Oh, no you’re not! What’s wrong with putting that aside until after the visit and then you can come to b*tch out all you want? You’re wrecking your chances of ‘having’ their son, truth be told. Yes, they want to know there’s a cook, ho and maid in you (don’t take the last sweet quality personally. You’re going to be a great wife, aren’t you?) but they certainly don’t want to see the ho nature out in public and they want to pretend they’re not a bit concerned you both have sexual needs. The least you can do is respect their opinion. You feel like you want to be Nicki Minaj but please tone it down. Even she will stick to this advice.

Ankle length boots as Summer shoes

The first thing that crosses out minds is die-hard-desperate-fashion-helpless-trend-follower getting it all wrong. Yes, really. Is that your heartbreak collection? Are you trying too hard to put down your ex? Oh, honey, you needn’t do that. We all know you are in a better place now. Take one good look at yourself, if he saw you in that and in this whether, he’ll thank his lucky stars he left you. Well that’s his ill luck. He doesn’t know what he’s missed out on! It’s up to you to bring that statement to life as you put those boots out of your reach until winter. Okay? We can work with that, right? Good.

Or if you insist, join a circus since it appears you’re really interested in taking up clowning as a major career – only I’m not aware of too many schools that can train you. But since it comes off naturally, why bother? Go right ahead and be the world’s biggest joker.

Over-sized clothes as casual wear

I’m not saying all your clothes have to cling to your body – that will be the least fashionable thing – in most cases – but wearing clothes that are the right sizes for you is truly no sin. Just so you know. Throwing your boyfriend’s (not again!) shirt over your skinny frame isn’t doing too much good for you. No, you don’t look romantic. You can do that indoors where the world doesn’t have its eyes on you.

Every dress has its character and you should allow each one breathe, express their essence but if a fit is not you, then it isn’t. Why would you want to put on characters that don’t speak you?

Pairing prints with prints 

I think this is the worst fashion trend ever. Don’t forget wearing stripes over stripes. They’re lame too. Asides from the fact that there are many possible chances that you’ll look like a moron, it won’t sit well on you. I can assure that. That type of combo screams ghetto and trying too hard (oh, you thought only bloody colors do? No, dear) and you couldn’t get a date in that – too many chances you won’t.

For the love of you, I say this. Never, unless you’re celebrity and can afford the risk of media hits.

On second thoughts: Well, here are 3 strong reasons you can wear this.

(1) Fashion rules are broken everyday; so why not?

(2) You want to make an undeniable statement on the red carpet.

(3) Fashion is flown; you can’t hold it down.


Piercing as the new cool thing

You don’t plan on getting that job with all the studs and cheap diamonds (I don’t even care if they are expensive) in your skin, do you? Piecing the whole of yourself before you go for that job interview will not only make you lose the job before you even get it. There are chances that you won’t get referrals.

You definitely don’t plan on getting the job with lame mannerisms. You might be ghetto – or love the ghetto approach – but its imperative to know that when it comes certain things like a job opportunity, you really need to prove yourself capable for it, act and dress it! I mean it. But that’s fine if you’re planning to work at a strip joint. Then I can understand your really silly plight.

Undersized clothing

Don’t you think you look unbelievably preposterous in this? Struggling to breathe or catch your breath in some really tight clothing especially if it’s got you around your bust isn’t the world’s easiest thing to do. Do you not think so? Idolizing your 6 year old’s outdated top isn’t any way fashionable. If you’re trying not to dress your age, you’re trying too hard and you not only come out looking worse than your age but you give the impression that childhood dramas didn’t end when you turned 18 – and that you don’t intend for them to end. Now, how’s that? You tell me.


You want to come out looking every inch a queen; you should even take a picture. Do it then!


I’m glad you’ll be making the right choices; well not like this ‘clowny’ one!


Whatever you do, be happy with the choices you make – at least for you!

And have the best fashionable week ever!

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