Do it like a Brother ?

No girl can hear the introductory bass of “Independent Women ” without wanting to intermittently chime in with an indignant “I bought it” with Destiny’s Child on their 2000 hit.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lPQZni7I18&w=853&h=480]
In light of this, anything they can do, we can do-perhaps even better has been the theme of many an angsty female anthem since Destiny’s Child pioneering single. It’s a completely positive message to profess. It’s an energising statement that mobilises women to go forth and shatter that “glass ceiling” society has created using traditional gender roles to buttress it.

However, the old saying seems to have mutated into something else- a weaker derivative that perhaps changes the message of the original statement. Now it seems that songs are professing the statement that “Everything males are characteristically known for doing-that we resent- we should do also in order to elevate our statuses in interpersonal relationships.”. Quite a mouthful eh? Such a theme is seen in Jessie J’s “Do it like a Dude”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOf3kYtwASo&w=853&h=480] Here, she brashly claims she can do anything a male does (all the gross things mind you), however, unlike “Independent Women”, Jessie seems to comprimise her femininity whilst doing so. Call me a prude, but I don’t believe that any lady should “grab her crotch.”

Likewise, in Ciara’s Like A Boy, [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HKH7Emy1SY&w=640&h=480] Ciara reels off all the negative male attributes in relationships (not calling back..generally being an ass) just after saying “Ladies…I think it’s time to switch roles.”

Though I am pretty sure this is not their intention, what such songs seem to inadvertantly do, is actually reinforce the fact that males are superior in relationships. In order to beat men in their own game, to prove that they can’t push women around, and to prove our strength, we need to “Do it like a Brother.”

But wait. Doesn’t that mean we’re saying that being a woman isn’t good enough? That in order to show men what women are worth we need to “switch roles?”. Such an idea is only perpetuated by films and movies such as “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man”, which kind of insinuates that thinking like a woman leaves us incapable of really tackling issues in a relationship.

The mind boggles that nobody has thought of the merits of thinking like a woman though. We look beneath the surface, we are intuitive, we have the ability to be more calculating , because we think and analyse rather than act on an impulse of anger and are therefore more likely to get things our own way…this is very helpful when we decide to use our powers for good. We consider all possibilities and we weigh up plans. On top of this of course, we have that handy little God-given gift of “woman’s intuition”. That gut feeling that is-more often than not-right. This of course, is not to discredit men…men have their own merits. They-generally- are more practical, they are less likely to overthink things that do not need to be over-thought, and of course they’re really handy at carrying excess loads after an intense bout of retail therapy (I jest. Sort of.)

Essentially, what I’m trying to say, is that “man” and “woman” were created as such for a reason. We both have things to offer within those genders. Not roles mind you-those are social constructs- but genders. Our minds were made differently (but equally) to balance each other out, and in my opinion, thinking like a man, only distorts this balance. Women are strong within themselves, and do not need to act nor think like men to establish or exert this strength. Our femininity is important, and their masculinity is also important. If everyone thought like males, there probably would be significantly less sensitivity in society, no one would ever call anyone back, and no one would ever know how anybody is feeling, because no one would bother to ask. Likewise, if everyone thought like women, there would be a lot more suspicion in society, wars (of words) may be started over statements such as “I just have this feeling in my gut that they are hoarding weapons of mass destruction..”, and once a month society would launch into a state of imbalance, and all supermarkets would be drained of ice cream. Chaos, I think you might agree.

So do it like a sista, and let them do it like brothas, and let us find our strength, and power within the way we were made, as that is where our FABulousness lies.

@Beebabs